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On my directorial debut

15th July 2011

Hi – it’s great to see you again – how is your aunt – bearing up I hope.

Squaremile.com, a website for whom I write regular satirical pieces, is branching out into ‘funny’ video. They’ve asked me to be involved.

Here’s my first effort, based on the Seventh Seal by Ingmar Berman – and parodied in Bill & Ted.

It’s for the City of London but I hope you still get it.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=nvfqQpsPwiw

Did you?

Chow

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On coming a cropper

14th July 2011

To come a cropper (idiom, British informal): to fall to the ground, make a mistake or smash your face up as a result of cycling like a twat. ex. Saul’s come a cropper, poor chap’ll never strut the Paris catwalks again.

Here’s a visual aid.

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On David Bowie and other diversions

8th June 2011

At this very moment – this precise moment – I should be writing 1,500 words on the history of the wristwatch. It is, in fact, an interesting piece but it’s late and I’m seeking distraction. Welcome to the highly unstructured world of the freelance journalist. You’re welcome.

Instead of starting the piece I should have begun six hours ago I’m looking at the internet for amusing diversion. I found myself here, at one of the funniest scenes from the second series of Ricky Gervais’s Extras. Aside from Bowie’s natural presence, note Gervais’s resemblance to Stan Laurel at 1:43.

Stay with it, there’s more…

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On Gary Neville

30th May 2011

I was so amused by something Gary Neville said during the build-up to the Champions League final I made an audio recording of it and added a short video here it is goodbye.

On the Etape Caledonia, it’s a bike race

24th May 2011

Hello hello.

This here blog concerns my recent participation in the Etape Caledonia, a breathtaking 81 mile bicycle race through the Highlands of Scotland.

Breathtaking, as in the removal of breath.

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En Provence

14th May 2011

Hi.

Last weekend Joan and I went to Provence.

Here’s what happened – in words, film and pictures.

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On what I wrote today

8th April 2011

It was this, and people seemed to like it. Hope you do too.

On a most peculiar meal

31st March 2011

A local Japanese restaurant recently started offering an all-you-can-eat buffet.

Japanese food is a favourite of both mine and Joan’s, it’s only drawback being that it’s somewhat on the dear side. Thus the notion of a free-for-all sashimi tuck-in at only £14.95 a head appeals, not only because it would metaphorically lend this beleaguered country a helping hand, but also because I like to eat a LOT OF FOOD.

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On the tiger

15th March 2011

Welcome friends and enemies alike.

I write monthly essays for these people. Most recently I focused on the impending extinction of the wild tiger.

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On pigs and monkeys

1st February 2011

– THE world is an wasteland of grief beset by pestilence, war, famine and death.

– THE coalition government is dismantling brick by brick all aspects of British life held dear.

– ANDY Murray was annihilated by Novak Djokovic in the final of the Australian Open.

Which is why we all need this (sound required).

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