By using this site you accept the cookie & privacy notices in place.

On Smiling

20th August 2010

Dearly beloved,

We are gathered here today to observe a short blog (yes, another one). In fact there’s barely any writing in this one, mainly on account of my having removed the tips of my fingers in an effort to commit a succession of massive bank heists while avoiding detection.

Continue Reading

On a short blog

20th July 2010

This won’t take long…

Continue Reading

On the World Cup

7th July 2010

England may have been pi$$ poor and the World Cup may nearly be over, but before we have to stare the Premiership full in the face again here’s my World Cup blog.

Or at least it began as a World Cup blog…

Continue Reading

On Greg’s wedding

23rd June 2010

Hello chums – what gives?

It’s a beautiful day here in London: the sun is shee-aye-ning, the tits are beating the pigeons to the birdfeed on the balcony, and the World Cup – and World Cup ball – are in full swing, reminding me of the pleasures of working from home.

Could there be a better time to write a brief description of my recent trip to Singapore to attend the wedding of an old friend? In a word, “certainly not”.

Continue Reading

On Stephen Fry

28th May 2010

Oh. Allo.

This blog is about Stephen Fry. If you don’t like Stephen Fry you have come to the wrong place. Oh – and you’re a loser.

Continue Reading

On Eat Me Magazine

29th April 2010

Dear friends, foes, hoes and mo’s,

How are you?

Peckish?

Continue Reading

On recent photographs taken by me, Saul Wordsworth

8th April 2010

A big hello to those reading this, and a small one to those not.

Tonight, Matthew, I’m going to be dealing mainly in visual aids…

Continue Reading

On the five ages of waiting

26th February 2010

My friends,

How are you? I only ask because you never say. You’re so quiet. I miss you.

Continue Reading

On writing a blog simply because it’s been ages since the last one

10th February 2010

I’m tired, it’s late and I’m not wearing any pants. But it’s been over a month since my last blog, and that really isn’t good enough now is it. Well is it?
Continue Reading

On swearing

21st December 2009

Fuck me it’s nearly Christmas. As such I thought I should write a festive blog. Because despite being Jewish (well, Jew-ish), I do love a Christmas. Well, mostly.

But then I thought: why would I write about Christmas? It’s FUCKING BORING. So here’s a blog about something equally close to my heart: swearing.
Continue Reading